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Maybe I have found it as I am sotogether and relaxed, so now I can now see if I can be a success as awoman. And let me tell you something, following Nichola at work is hard,she was a genius, a veritable genius, I have a lot to live up to for thetime I am Nichola."Mum looked at me soberly and whispered, "You could be Nichola for a longtime dear."Startled I looked at her. "Pardon?" I asked.She sighed and told me, "It seems like Nichola, or Sophie may neverrecover!"I was stunned and gulped a large mouthful of my wine, speechless. Mumcontinued, "What do you want to do now my dear?"I thought furiously and replied, "I want to stay as Nichola if I may."She shuffled across next to me and hugged me. "Darling to me you are myNichola, and will be for as long as you want to, I really love you areone of my lovely daughters, but I have to ask, are you going to become awoman?" Mum, I really don't know, probably yes, but it's too early to decide."We left it at that and sat snuggled together watching. The wind is not blowing that strong and the sky is just a straight gray line, full of a billion tiny little clouds. As I reach the edge, near the parapet, I can see the tiny people down there. Soon I imagine my body, completely broken by that twenty floor fall and I shiver even more, holding myself strongly. I didn't want this. I just wanted to disappear. My idea wasn't to make a scene, but jumping from here seemed the faster way to go, as I already heard we lose consciousness even before hitting the ground.I awkwardly climb the parapet. My vision blurred a little and the world spun around me. My body was completely numb and I had a ball of ice in my stomach that was trying to escape through my mouth. I was already feeling myself fall, realizing it was over and mourning it. Mourning the poor significance my life had, to me and to the others. Then I heard the door to the roof creak."So that is it" I heard Mark's voice.I turned over so fast that I lost my balance and almost fell."Oh.
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